I may just run away

Everyone says to watch out for the terrible twos, well if the "terrible twos" are worse than the "teething times" I may just run away. I spend my days with a screaming 11 month old who seems to only find relief from her pain by pulling my hair and watching me scream, sometimes I feel as if I am babysitting Rosemary's Baby. Mind you I love my daughter to death but she is already a feisty little munchkin.

Lately I have been facing the dilemma that faces all mommies, should I or should I not go back to work. I want to badly, just part time, not only for the extra money but just to get out of the house every once in a while. Every night in bed I argue with myself.

Me: I could give Lily so much more if there were two incomes and we could be debt free and buy a better house.
Nagging Voice That Sounds Remarkably Like My Mother: You will be letting other people raise her
Me: But it will be better in the long run, and lots of moms work
NVTSRKMM: yea, and most regret it later on, BUT it is your life so......

Obviously I never win, but I guess I will head to bed and give it a shot, maybe just maybe, tonight will be the night. *fingers crossed*

Lily Danielle ( 8months )

When I found out I was pregnant I devored any and every article I could find that would give me some type of insight as to what the next nine months would bring me. I felt prepared and completely at ease when it was time for Lily to make her debut into the world. Obviously I wanted that feeling to carry over into her first year of life so I began reading articles on what to expect for that time frame, and I was terrified! Everything I found made her first year sound like a strenuous job rather than a joyous time. They made me feel as if everyday I should be monitoring her height and her weight or if I gave her fruits too many times a day and not enough cereal I was a failure. This year is one of the most important years in a mothers life, this is the year that you bond with your child and grow into the role of nurterer and provider. I want to put your mind at ease. I hope that some other first time moms may run across this and realize that what they are feeling is perfectly normal. I am not going to claim to be an expert, I just want to be an insight.